Thursday, 16 August 2012

Bullying : Scared, Envy and Hatred (#2)

Photo by Amanda Mabel

I was so honoured when I received an invitation from Junebug's Aleena Deandra to be the second writer of a chained-essay about Bullying. It's been weeks but don't worry dear, I'm not that irresponsible. In the chained-post, I shall continue what Aleena wrote about our juvenile yet thoughtful opinions regarding Bullying.

Hence, the first and two paragraphs below are Aleena's and the rest is what I'm writing.

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I've heard a lot of stories about bullying; about how it affects most people, especially teenagers. I've once dealing with a friend who got bullied. The reason the bullies (most of them are girls) use to bully her is simple : she's fat. Those bullies once asked her, "Are you pregnant?! What's with that globe-sized belly of yours??!" and then they laughed at her, then a boy -another bullies told her in front of those bullies, "But then, who wants to fuck you anyway, fatty bitch!" Just imagine how hurtful the boy's words are. She then cried and asked my advice, telling me that she was so close to drop out from school, as she couldn't take any more words from the bullies. Hearing that, my heart scattered. How could they do such horrible things to her? Let me tell you, she isn't fat. She's only size-14, for God's sake. Marilyn Monroe -the one they called the sexiest woman alive was size-14, so what the hell is wrong with her that got the bullies' attention?! I know it, they are jealous of her. Jealous of her beauty, of her big-rounded black eyes, of her pointed nose, of her reddish full lips, of her long thick shiny black hair, of her bombshell figure. That's what it is. I told her the same, that she didn't deserve any of that, that she shouldn't take their words seriously, but just go living her life, and gladly, she did take my advice seriously, as she stood up against those bullies and started to get better. She's now on her diet; she has lost around 20 lbs and can't be more proud of her body. She's now on her way to catch her study and her dream in China. And guess what, she has a boyfriend now, a boyfriend who loves and accepts her unconditionally. And what happened to those bullies? Let me tell you, they are nothing. They may still have that pretty face, but -no offense- they're just another college students in town, living under their parents' supports. And my friend; she takes a part-time job in some restaurant there at Taiwan to feed herself and support her life there. And for the study's fee? She got a hell of scholarship, FULL SCHOLARSHIP FOR HER ENTIRE BACHELOR YEARS! How amazing is that? See, she's one hell of inspiration. She's tough, she's not a quitter, she's willing to stand up, she's determined to change, to be better, and look how she's now, better than ever.

I, myself, ever got bullied because of my weight. I was fat (twice) and my friends often mocked me, calling me an elephant, a hulk, you name it. And lucky for me, I was born and raised not to give any fuck of what people say about me, and I believe in myself. But I couldn't thank them enough to mock me, because their words motivated me to be who I am right now. And one thing I can say about them, bullies; you are much worse than those who you bullied, not to mention your envious towards them, covering all of your hatred of yourself in your disgusting demeanor of wrecking other people's life. Mind your own business, because we're lot strongers than you think we are! And let me tell you one thing: one can be better, but not against those who they have no comparison with. And that's us, bullies!

If we take a closure look at it, bullying is never committed by minority against majority. Most (if not all) of the times, we never choose to be bullies. We are dragged by the dominant society to bully the outnumbered ones. Now we may conclude that bullies are so cruel and hateful. Can we however say the same when we are in the place of the majority and when they require us to show our dominance to the minority? It will be wondrously miraculous if we can utterly be heroes and literally stop bullying. Yet on the other hand, the gap will always be there with or without our involvements.

Perhaps we will never be able to stop bullying. Perhaps it will always be there as long as there is a number of special persons who are brave enough to stand out the crowd. Perhaps you and I are bullied. Perhaps you and I are bullies in a few occasions. Toughen your heart. Face bullying. Forgive bullies. More importantly, forgive yourself for being what you are. Let the bullies spread hatred, we don't necessarily need to hate them back and help them spreading hatred.

Why hate? There's enough hatred in the world without our help.

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JUNEBUG by Aleena Deandra http://aleena-deandra.blogspot.com
SIMPLYJOCHRIS.BLOGSPOT.COM by Joshua Christian http://simplyjochris.blogspot.com
BEYOND THE SENSES by Astrid Desmonda http://oddamsel.wordpress.com

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33 comments:

  1. Such an amazing project and I'm totally with you, if there's something I can do to support this idea just let me know ok? Maybe I can make a poster, an illustration, some graphic, the change starts with little actions.

    And you're an amazing writer, thanks for worrying about social problems

    Pablo from fungiexpress.com

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  2. hating somebody doesn't make you a better person -- very nice this is very inspiring good job :) http://itsyaboykorki.blogspot.com/

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  3. great writing! keep inspiring! :D

    Wulan Wu on http://bootsydoopsy.blogspot.com

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  4. christ , i love your writing.. the story was inspiring dan hmm nyentuh ._. actually i had buying too when i was jhs because of my weight :( anw keep inspiring christ :D

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  5. really touch me..
    I'm proud your friend can catch her dream though she ever get bullied..
    so inspiring kak!
    really so into your words "face bullying. Forgive bullies. More importantly, forgive yourself for being what you are."

    thanks for sharing a really great story..
    is it 2nd? I wanna read the first.

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    Replies
    1. The first and second paragraphs are written by Aleena and I wrote the third & fourth paragraphs (:

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    2. Ooh, I see now.. I searched all your posts and didnt find the #1, so the #1 is the first and second paragraphs. :D thank you~

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  6. another very well written article from you. it's great to read how you helped your friend and you did it the right way, not by hating back. it's actually pretty disgusting how mean young people can be and I think everything starts from your home. if the child has great parents and great manners then that child probably doesn't feel the need to bully others. but if there's something wrong at home it affects the child right away.

    Maiken,
    Maikeni blogi - part of me

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    Replies
    1. The first and second paragraphs are what Aleena wrote, so it was the kind-hearted Aleena from Junebug who helped her friend, not me haha

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  7. Love your way of writing!!
    you are talented!
    kisses

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  8. my friends also bully me with nick, curly or something of that mocks, but i think that's only jealousy because they don't have hair like me *yeah i'm proud with myself no matter what ;) u can find your friend and say 'look at me i'm not that fat boy anymore' they only judging people by the physically but they don't have any to be proud of.

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  9. Bullying is just a part of living right? it's like an enforcement by reputation against the "different", it's just a view of an unescapable behavior of hate and prejudice, great review, you deserve it so much, how can you do the next chain?

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  10. Hey! nice blog :) follow each other?

    http://areyougonnabemygirl.tk/

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  11. I get what you mean with 'perhaps we never be able to stop bullying'. it's like a never ending phenomena that bullying is always happen anytime, anywhere. but letting the bullies spread hatred? I think we could do more than letting it happen. but indeed, the most basic thing is start from our self. forgive bullies, but never be the part of these bullies.

    xoxo

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  12. i agree with you, people often judge someone only from beauty. we need to appreciate everyone, in their one differences :)

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  13. super duper agree with this post, I also was bullied by my friend when I was in primary. for innocent kids, words can be swords. luckily I could get through those dark years. -____-

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  14. Words are slicer than swords. We always need to armored our heart to face bullying.
    Yes, We may forgive bullies, but to forget it? It ain't easy.
    Anyway, this chained essay is inspiring! keep it up, Jo!

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  15. oh this story is inspiring. you know, i know lots of bullying cus i was bullied too, and it went just too far.. but it's not to write in comment... thank you so much for lovely comment, would you like to follow each other?
    http://coeursdefoxes.blogspot.com/
    http://www.facebook.com/CoeursDeFoxes

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  16. Following! :)

    http://areyougonnabemygirl.tk/

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  17. Both of you did a wonderful job.

    Bullying isn't a new phenomenon; it was around when I was a child...yes, *that* long ago...but the way we and society deals with it is always evolving. I'm glad to see it being dragged out into the light; albeit kicking and screaming. Well done young sir.

    Oh, and in answer to your question on my blog: I live in Indiana, in the States, where storms of that type aren't at all unusual...good thing I like them, yes?

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  18. Can;t wait to see more!!! keep up the good writing!!! xxx

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  19. I am following you and your sweet blog :)
    I would love if you follow me back :)
    XoXo
    http://abudhabifood.blogspot.com

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  20. congratz jo :D i knew you're such a great writter :):)
    anyway i also have a research project about bullying..
    well, i agree with ken.. bullying is absolutely just a part of living

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  21. well written! i couldn't agree more :)

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  22. such an amazing post. i really believe in what you are saying. bullying needs to end

    http://underthefluorescents.blogspot.com/

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  23. This is such an inspiring post! Me likey ^^ Keep blogging dear :)

    Cheers,
    Karina Dinda R. ♥
    BLOG | TWITTER | SHOP

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  24. inspiring post, jo!
    IDK why should people bully others. nobody's perfect. why don;t they accept that?

    btw I love love this:
    "Why hate? There's enough hatred in the world without our help."

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  25. I'm sorry about your experience but I'm very glad that you are taking all measures to prevent further hate. You are so inspiring. I also have become a huge fan of your photography, writing, and style. Would you like to follow each other? Let me know.

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  26. Again, I just have to tell you that your writing is always so good! ;)
    What strikes me is what you're saying about the dominant class. It is easy to be against the bullies when we're victims, but will we be brave enough to stop it when we're on the dominant side?

    And another nicely put expression: "Forgive yourself for being what you are."

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  27. Amazing write-up!!Really Inspiring Jo :)
    Keep Smiling coz you deserve it!!!

    Ruhie
    The Sweet Life

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  28. what an inspiring post. we should against bully.

    http://ollyvialaura.blogspot.com/

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  29. INSPIRED!! surely following and thanks for your comment

    http://prettymucheverythang.blogspot.in/

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