what is good is you, what is wrong is what you think it is

One should reside on the bright side, they always say. It's an ancient and universal presumption that there are always at least two axises: dark and bright, good and evil, and right and wrong. As a mammal and as a creature whose value lies beyond flesh and bones, we were born into the society which has already provided us a list of what-to-dos and what-not-to-dos.

photograph source

Few questions, however, came up from within my heart: Is the society a representative of "god/absolutism"? Does "god(s)" have the absolute power? Is power itself the ultimate determination to tell us what to do and not to do? Even if god/God/gods is real and one (or many) of the society's perceptions toward God/gods/god is actually correct, are we born bound to that entity? What is the origin of "right" and what is the provenance of "wrong"?

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a raindrop in a lake

In an analogy of a raindrop,

Life races from above in the same direction
Life begins in the darkness
Life can end in any vicinity,

You’re dwelling in sole water ball, the whole world has thousands
You start to perceive the indistinguishability
You establish yourself in the absence of desire,

Another drop of water streaming down your face
Another beat skips your heart
Another day to touch the ground,

But remember my love, you may be gone, you may be not the only one
But remember my friend, if raindrop vanishes one by one, earth would never be satisfied
But remember my dear, one makes everything, everything is one to another.

Life In A Sole Waterball - Joshua Tjandra

independence day

Jingles and tingles give their hugs
Stars are within reach

Earth is superlative, life is paradisiac
When heaven comes down, it does

Look above, there lies the sky
Look inside, there stays everything beyond

Joy to the world
We're freed from sins and religions

Sins are man made
Religions are properties of the societies

Bibles are written
Words are spoken

Histories are twisted
Lies are told

One sacrificed everything
The birth of an idea

Love is committed
Mankind is unrestrained

"Unrestrained" - Joshua Tjandra
Photograph by sandulay

unkind reversibility

As I lay dying
The whole world confines death
As I pray worrying
The time stops and rewinds
Everything happens in order not
Anything collides in mutuality of reversibility

As I smile frowning
The sun's blinding beam upper hands
As I pace forwarding
The road sins and points to the fire
Everything happens in order not
Anything collides in mutuality of reversibility

As I embrace the chaos, accepting
Hope kills the peace
As I conclude life, hating
Love questions and demands
Everything happens in order not
Anything collides in mutuality of reversibility

Let us be, no, let us be
Lord, oh, Lord
He is the Almighty Joker
Plotting around and smiling upon us
Let us be, yes, let us be

"Reversed" - Joshua Tjandra

seven days breathing Jess

Shed a tear on shallow mahogany

Weed some extraction of the life itself

Wear a golden pot on the top of the agony

Save your life from the life itself

I shed a pain on a thought of you

I smoke my life out when I think of you

I hate myself most when I have everything but you

I have to save myself from losing you

Rest me down under the sky candles

Lay me down in a house by the hill

Dance me down upon melted strawberries

Trace me down beneath the untold skies

I was skiing on the whole island and back

I was wandering through the fire and rejuvenated

I was kissing the seven maverick atmospheres

I was the happiest creature in the history of time

"Missing" - Joshua Tjandra
photograph: sandulay

Adam. Seventh page of revelation.

photo by Fabrice Devron

This post is the sequel of Adam. Sixth page of revelation.

 

__________________________________ 

Adam’s finest summer moment perished with Eric's departure. It was not Eric that actually bugged. It was the adventure they had sought together. There was that last strange night from which they eventually deducted that Adam was being delusional. The later day, they decided to go back to the forest to find no such flower field. Adam’s intuition, nonetheless, was still bemoaning for something more.

One fine morning, Adam opened his computer to receive an invitation through his e-mail. Hundreds invitation mails of spam had previously encroached past his address, but this one had a kind of title boding something attractive for him: Congratulations, Adam! You are now a member of The Murmuring Writer Guild. It’s the word Writer that touched his sense of self and the word Guild that added adjunctive allurement. What a ridiculous name, though, thought Adam.

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Adam. Sixth page of revelation.

photo by Kaytee Callahan

This post is the sequel of Adam. Fifth page of revelation.

 

__________________________________

VI

The curve under her nose proved that hidden treasure in the world was still worth seeking for, never had Adam imagined something so mesmerizing before. No words were bought between them yet the gentle gesture of the flowery attired girl was flowing beautifully as if she were dancing. The gap between them was only a few yards and Adam could live forever watching such a show.

The girl started to keep a distance. Adam looked around, “Eric?” There was no clue if there had been anyone else in the field but the enticing girl and him. Fireflies entailed the trace of the escaping girl and between her hasty steps she glanced back invitingly to Adam. He was overpowered and followed her.

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happiness

Photo by Carolene

Happiness has always been a never ending issue. In the recent positivism era, many people believe that happines is meant to be chosen instead of achieved, yet again, even international law constitutes the right for all people to pursue happiness. To my point of view, there are slight differences between happiness, excitement, security, and peacefulness.

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Adam. Fifth page of revelation.

A Guy Taking Pictures on Flickr

V

Surrendering to the dim illumination of the moonlight, they both followed the traces. The traces had been randomly left. There were some shining drawings painted on living logs, there were the weird noises moving from one place to another in a particular line, and there was  one time when a rabbit suddenly appeared from nowhere. Adam and Eric could not refuse the temptation to follow the rabbit (which stopped sometimes, waiting for them to catch up).

Both of them desired nothing. They would pursue anything but discomfort. They had had their adventure. They'd been restless for nights—not to exclude that night—because of the clues. They were however moved to obey an unexpressed command erupting from their hearts. There would be no regrets.

Until they arrived at the latest row of trees at the very east side of the forest.

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the night is the darkest before dawn

Creed is frivolous while a shot to the heart is concrete,

Mistakes are meant to be made while regrets are meant to be chosen,

I lost words while my throat is dying to yell,

The night is the darkest before dawn.

I stab my own back, He can’t take another rib,

I pour another whiteness, unconsciousness is my savior,

I’m calling out, I’m passing out,

The night is the darkest before dawn.

My sole—

temper stays composed, dignity stays clenched,

heart stays burdened, mind stays questioning,

faith stays unbroken, hope stays unstoppable,

The night is the darkest before dawn.

I kneel the whole night, I pray the hardest before dawn.

The dawn is dark,

And it rains.

Disbelief - Joshua Christian


YOU MIGHT WANT TO READ:  i need no condolence; discontinuance

Bullying : Scared, Envy and Hatred (#2)

Photo by Amanda Mabel

I was so honoured when I received an invitation from Junebug's Aleena Deandra to be the second writer of a chained-essay about Bullying. It's been weeks but don't worry dear, I'm not that irresponsible. In the chained-post, I shall continue what Aleena wrote about our juvenile yet thoughtful opinions regarding Bullying.

Hence, the first and two paragraphs below are Aleena's and the rest is what I'm writing.

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self-ignorance

Photo by pierre Hanquin

 
Lately I see a lot of young (or older) people pouring their concerns toward some issues that are occurring around the world. They write things, they do speeches, and they invite people to act. It’s good.

When we talk about something concerning a society, or about the world, it might look so glorious and epic. However, the whole world comprises smaller entities. The smallest part among them all is called person. The world starts from you. It starts from me. The great world begins from the smallest individual.

As for it, I humbly think that the greatest virtue in this modern world would not be us saving it, but you saving yourself.

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Adam. Fourth page of revelation.

Photo by Anna Strachan

IV

It was the third day of the game. That day, Adam and Eric tried an abandoned tree-house inside the only forest around the town. The clues ware frivolous, but there had been a glimpse of hope over a note of “The key of happiness is to always find a home inside a deep dark forest”. The house, nevertheless, was as empty as the sky above them.

“Are you sure this map is for real?” Adam complained to Eric while he was crawling around the hollow tree-house.

“I don’t know Adam. I’ve told you thousand times, I have not lied, okay? You saw it through your own eyes, the map was right there.”

“You have not lied, that’s the problem.”

The note had been found two days before. After learning the map, Adam bruised all over his legs climbing down an emptied shallow well at an apple yard. The note was carved on the bottom of the well. They would have examined the place more if the keeper of the yard did not shout from the middle of nowhere and chased both Adam and Eric.

It all happened after Eric found a box behind a panel in the attic on the first day. Adam would not believe all these, but lucky Eric that Adam was right there just as he undiscovered the box. The rigid box contained nothing but a scrolled map. A map with an X-spot (over a drawing of the well), some other drawings, and a written text on the right hand corner. It was written there: Don’t find me, I’ll find you. Thus the game began.

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i need no condolence

World never resembles truth

As water is a clean reflection

My gratitude keeps saving my attitude

I am swollen

They tell me things I want to hear

I feel sorry for them

I need no lie

Though I need confidence

Time is running out

My skin is aching

My nights are sleepless

This man is worried

I am fatigued

Of being elusive

It is too much

Of being a salvation

Waves of the green,

Reflection of the blue,

Supremacy of the purity,

Draw me deep.

Let me be.

Swollen.

Do not pick me up.

I am your enemy.

Swollen - Joshua Christian 

photocredit: Reinhardt Kenneth

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chin up

The first question to answer, what do you think life is?

Some say souls are born in the wombs. The rest says that life just begins when the baby breathes their first oxygen. But anyhow, it doesn't matter.

The ways people die also vary. The reasons people die may be glorious, tragic, or ridiculous. And anyway, it doesn't matter as well.

Life is not about how it begins or where it ends, but everything in between.

So what is the point of having it then? There are too many tears for it to be considered a mere gift. It is also a lie when you say life is not beautiful.

No matter what, while you're reading it, it means you have life and please do realize that you ARE alive.

The second question to think about, what do you want to achieve in life?

Different person wants different fame, wealth, happiness, and virtues. Thus the definition of "success" is subjective. 

How do you rate success?  For me, I just want to make this life worth it.

I chase dreams, I always do. I once said that by only chasing dreams, I already succeed in the term of dreaming. Achieving them is an utter grace we can never complain about.

And here is my dream: my life will only be worthy when I take on my passion to the fullest. I have to write books, songs, and signature on my very own clothing line. I have to leave a message through them, I have to be remembered that I have ever been in the middle of humanity and do something memorable and remarkable for the sake of people and myself.

When I die one day, people must remember me as the man who never ceases for what he believes in.

So what about you? What do you want to do?

To suffer and sacrifice in the purpose of other people's happiness, if it is worthy, why not?

To seek living for yourself, if it is worthy, why not?

To seek glory and fame for your family, if it is worthy, why not?

To do everything in the name of art, if it is worthy, why not?

Or not to seek anything in life, just "let it flow", if it is worthy, why not?

Look into your heart, think about it, make sure if it IS worth living for.

Image by mi9.com

The final question to face, what are you doing currently with your life? 

Whatever your answer is (you can clench it in your heart or shout it out loud), stay proud of it.

Chin up, you're not alone and NOTHING is ever absolutely wrong or late.

MIGHT VERY WELL BE RELATED TO: "how to turn dream into gold instead of dust"

Adam. Third page of revelation.

Night was never old. Adam would rather not complain about the inability to turn his mind off in night times. He'd rather serenade himself before the night sky and stars. But there was this little monster in every humans heart which destructive power was unstoppable.

Some simply called it loneliness. The others judged it to be a psychological wall. And the luckiest ones just regarded it as a futile emotion. Eventhough Adam realized that he might only have been infected by songs, books, and  televisions too much, he still humbly thought that romance was the only liberation.

And that night would have been just another insomniac lone hours until Eric came. A sight of Eric did not taste as horrible it had used to do. When it comes to being unwantedly alone, anyone is expected.

"Adam, I can't sleep."

"Neither I can."

"May I sit with you?"

"Pick a guitar, we''ll hit the garden."

Adam remembered when he almost got caught masturbating by his mom because of Eric. The memory when Eric had destroyed his entire football career in school did not fade away. Adam would also never forget how Eric had deleted hundreds of draft pages of the only book Adam had ever written.

"Hey Adam, don't you think the more we grow up, the more love is being overrated?"

"Come on dude, you're sixteen. Pull that shit off and pick another song."

"But Adam, I used to think that love was something good. It was until I know that love made my classmate's sister slice her own hand and died."

"..."

"Adam, tell me more about Kate Yariv."

devotion

Taken by Nana. @catherineandme on Instagram.

Some say it's an eruption

Up, down, up, down

Some say it's magical

There, here, there, here

None says it's possible

You, me, you, me

But this collision is meteoric

Though reminiscence will never return

Though galaxies take our dazzling dawns

An end is a blasphemy we'd never enjoy

We face destiny

Come and get us

We are against mediocrity

Pull and stretch us

We call it love

Yes baby, it's not a word

Yes honey, it's not an emotion

No darling, it's you and me

Don't promise. Just love.

Devotion - Joshua Christian

PS: a pal of mine 's sister is going to have her marriage. As being requested, this is dedicated for them. Beaucoup de bonheur!

Adam. Second page of revelation.

II

Kate Yariv was the name of the girl. The assassin, the wingless angel, and the blackest illumination. Though Adam had never wanted to date a psychology student, he couldn’t abide not to follow his heart.

But she got her date anyway.

Five year old was the first time Adam expanded his imagination and dared to decide what he wanted to be. An astronaut that time. Adam had gotten a sort of addiction to sky and stars since the very first beginning.

The next year, he wanted to be magician. Director, architect, scientist, and video game programmer the next years afterward.

Finally in his teenage, when the visions began to penetrate his conscience, he was told to be a writer. Daydreamings struck everytime that moment on.

He tried to write and read everything. He never minded about the quarrels and hard works he had to put in. The hardest part was to endure the smirks, laughs, and unsupportive faith-temptation treatments people gave to him.

It thus bore down to one thing for Adam: a dream was rather an obligation than a right. However, everytime he tried to quit, the conspiration of an unknown entity inside his head (and chest, if he was never mistaken) never quit to drag him back.

Adam’s mom had forced him to take medicine for college. And in another story, it ended putting him studying law as a last resort.

One summer morning, from the middle of nowhere and nowhen, Adam’s sole auntie came. He was rest assured that his holiday ended right there.

His mother called him, “Get out Adam, greet Auntie Bernard!” Opening his bedroom door after several bedroom windows, he was severely gutted seeing his aunt’s son in front of the door. He thought there would be his aunt alone.

Worse.

“Hi, Bernard, long time no see.” Adam greeted his brunnete aunt. “Oh, hello Adam. You’re looking very well.”

“What brings you here? A several days of Beverly-free-movement-area?”

“No, Adam, actually I am going to be very busy couple of weeks ahead, so I wonder if you can look after this little Eric for awhile.” It sounded more like an order than a request.

Worst.

acceptance

First of all, I would like to politely remind you that what I'm going to write here is just an idea. An idea better resides as an idea.

Once, those philosophers in Greece came up with a superb idea called democracy. Imagine how great it was to have such an idea in such a monarchy and tyrannical atmosphere. Nonetheless, how's democracy become nowadays? A plain piece of rye bread served to fulfill a nasty tight diet program. Nasty, yet obliged and inevitable. That's why an idea, to stay glorious, better stays impractical.

Anyhow, this idea grows up from a sacred variable contemplated in lives and realities and surreality and connectivity named love.

They say world peace and heavenly state of mind start from learning how to love. Yes, how? Which part of love do they mean?

For me, the most basic form of love is acceptance.

We are different to each others. The matter of right and wrong is not ours to judge. We're trying too hard to invoke our beliefs, opinions, senses, and logic to measure everything and everyone around us. Even those murders, thievery, and so on and so on are actually not judgeable or talkable.

Don't judge. Don't ever be very sure that something which someone does is wrong. Don't stop someone else from being unique and different. Don't pay revenge. Don't mind about somebody else being a jerk. Don't ever fuckin care about anybody else being freak. Try to accept them as what and who they are.

Child, don't you worry 
It's enough you're growing up in such a hurry 
Brings you down the news they sell you 
To put in your mind that all mankind is a failure 

What Happens Tomorrow - Duran Duran

Ever since we were committing our first experiences in our lives, our mind has always been filled with a perspective that the world is now in chaos. We are taught that people act shit and this world is getting worse and worse. NO. This world will always be beautiful if you accept it as it is.

This is the unseen key to open a box filled with a peace of mind.

But yes darling, this idea of acceptance is somehow peculiar if it is to be employed in everyday's life. It's simply because every human being tends to protect their own being. Human tends to dominate and be dominated. They gather allies, choose enemies, and reject the minority. Nature's call.

Ultimately, we must at least try to accept that this idea is just an impracticable idea.

Taken from www.dekstopnexus.com

Adam. First page of revelation.

ADAM

Joshua Christian

photo was taken by Andre Makmur

I

He was different. Everybody was different to each other. But he was different different. According to himself, at least.

He believed he was a reincarnation. He simply didn't believe in the blowing idea that people souls were supposed to scatter into other things or persons, yet he was forced to believe that he was someone from the past. He got visions. He was burdened with missions.

Sometimes he realized that visions could only be mere illusion as love always was. Doubt arose not once or twice but almost every nights.

But hey, we've talked about this, right? he always assured himself. He constantly and composedly overcame the torment of faith.

That was hard time for Adam. He thought he had finally mastered the ability to control his mind. He made theories which he had always held tight. They usually worked, but those days they were used against him and his faith.

Dreams and expectations were becoming more venomous. They infect not only his mind but his being as a whole. They gave hope and stole it.

That was hard time, but light still shone and life would always be as paced as it had from time to time been. Days went by.

There came that girl.

It was love all over again. It was that cheesy romance all over again. It was that childhood bias all over again. But who could resist the temptation?

She came like an assassin. She pretended to be an ordinary chic with a bouquet of pinky balloons above her head and  a pair of ballerina shoes covering her ears. That she was in de facto an alchemist, no one knew except Adam. The strongest chemical reaction Adam had ever experienced. The most grievous one.

That was hard time. Days went by.